There are many signs of growing up. You start making your bed and cleaning the toilet because you actually want to, you save money for a rainy day, you start watching bad morning television. My obsession with the Today show was birthed from several factors. Waking up at 7am with no internet and basic cable leaves very few options to occupy time while drinking coffee. This paired with my near obsessive compulsive adherence to ritual led to me watching every single morning.
I like that the only stories covered are soft news that don't really apply to my life, it's the perfect thing to watch while waking up. Really, I don't know many people under the age of thirty that watch morning news with such regularity. However, I like the familiarity of the anchors and their plasticine faces and smooth voices. I love companionship, and in the absence of having a man to wake up to at least I have Al Roker to tell me the weather.
Today on Today I saw a segment on a toddler that didn't catch a ball at a baseball game, cried, and became an internet sensation. I was at first alarmed by the fact that this stupid baby got a 10 minute segment on the Today show, then the moral of it hit me. This child, who barely has all his motor skills is learning that you don't always get what you want. And here I am, an independent twenty-something, and I'm still learning this same lesson. Was I really as grown up as I was pretending to be?
Was the problem, maybe, that people never really grow up? We seem to get older, have more back problems and struggles. Supposedly we're learning the tough life lessons. But maybe, like the news, it's just the same stories with a different spin.
My most recent dating fiasco finally just came to an end last night. It was my fault really, I have a tendency to date mentally unstable people. These guys are scattered around the dating community like land mines. We met through a mutual friend, had a great first date, happy hour at Flemings, then a happier hour at my apartment. Although he came back to my place I promised not to try anything since we agreed to take it slow. A little making out and cuddling later it was dark and late. I offered to let him stay the night, lent him sweat pants (which he kept on all night), made coffee in the morning and even lent him an outfit to wear in the morning.
I thought I was pretty dang nice. I even tied his bow tie, or I should say my bow tie.
Then I get a barrage of text messages that night when I was unable to meet him for a drink because I already had plans. It is my opinion that men who blow up my phone are the worst offenders when it comes to dating fouls. No trial, straight to execution. Do not resuscitate, do not pass go, do not call back.
However I'm a sap and he was cute so I gave him a second chance but made him promise to see a therapist and be low maintenance. These are the hoops men are jumping through now. It used to be if you had a job and a nice smile you were eligible to date. But now you needed a therapist and a breathalyzer lock on your phone.
We had a week of smooth sailing, another date, another sleepover (pants off this time), and lets just say I understand now where his insecurities stem from. Another barrage of text messages followed the next day. At this point we're into the "shame on me" part of the saying. Fuck me over once shame on you, fuck me over twice shame on me, do it a third time and shame on my therapist.
I'm sure you think I dropped him like a hot potato after this but, well, maybe I need a better therapist.
Despite the fact that he was an emotional time bomb and endowed with a gherkin I decided to give friendship with this person a chance and see if maybe it could be something else someday.
Then I didn't text him for a week and, of course, had to hear his voice about it, ad nauseum. This is it this should be the end right? I should cut him off now. But no, a week later he invites me to an event at Haberdash and I decided sure why not? I got dressed up an put on a pressed shirt, and for someone who carries food and slings cocktails for a living to motivate yourself to get dressed up is no small feat.
An hour before I was about to leave work, out of nowhere, I get another garage of texts which ends is me being uninvited to go as his date. Sure, I had an invite in my inbox of my own. But I was furious. Nobody could say I didn't give this one a shot. And after being as understanding and kind as I was I still got burned. I always do this, I play the part of the nice guy and it bites me in the ass in the end.
So why are we still playing these games? Children learn lessons so quickly, so why is it hard to learn basically the same lessons as an adult? Is it like grade school where you have to keep taking the tests until you pass sufficiently? Am I doomed the be thrown these emotional grenades until I finally learn to just throw them back?
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