Sisyphus pushed a boulder up a hill over and over only to fail and have it roll back down to the bottom just before reaching the top. I appreciate the metaphor for persistence, but find it hard to understand the whole "one more time" aspect. If you can reasonably surmise that a task is insurmountable then why continue on knowing you'll likely fail?
This question has crossed my mind every time I am presented with the daunting task known as the first date. I am trying to be less negative and less judgmental, which would be gangbuster except I need pessimism like the rest of you need oxygen. But is it pessimism or self preservation that causes me to be wary of first dates? A year ago I would have been head over heels for an attractive older Jewish man asking me out on a brunch date at east bank club. The bialy and the banter about what-his-nuts' daughter's wedding at the Trump and Gucci loafers. And what's more the man's a divorced doctor with more zeros in his bank account than there are crying teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert. Honestly a brunette from the east coast couldn't ask for much better.
Yes, there were red flags. China doesn't have any many red flags as this guy. And I get it. I'm older jew-bait. They eat me up like gefilte fish. I'm a witty big-nosed loud-mouthed shegetz from Philly. I've basically got mid-life crisis stamped on my forehead. I've dated every single (and some married) older jewish man from here to the North Shore. The problem was not that I sensed this man was using me, it was that it all seemed so familiar. The brunch date followed by shoe shopping at Nordstrom and another pair of loafer I don't have room or money for. Everything about the date seemed so choreographed right down to our perfectly timed double bluff where we pretend to set up the next date but then pretend to be too busy the rest of this week to see if the other will call over the weekend.
Nothing about it seemed exciting. The first date was like watching a re-run of a Friends episode it was fun the first time, worth a watch the second, and each time after that you only watch because there's nothing else on.
Match.com has also been increasingly frustrating as the site has takes to recommending guys that I've already contacted. It could be that my standard is now so low that my key requirements are they need to have a job and have a face, and anything beyond that is probably negotiable.
I'm trying to avoid falling into a rut but it would appear I'm already in one. I try not to have a case of the why me's but I look at the guys I'm attracting for the most part and have to ask: what am I doing wrong? I think I'm okay looking. A solid seven. Although lately I'm starting to wonder if I might be a six. I don't think my personality is that awful, and once you get to know me you get used to the apparent narcissism and constant nagging. I don't think my clothes are that awful. Yes, I insist on wearing long sleeves in 90 degree weather and still do the invisible tie thing but I know I have flawless taste in clothing.
If not any of those things than what? Can they smell desperation like animals? Is if that I don't list karaoke or the cubs in my interests or refuse to wear a baseball cap?
What is it that these men are looking for and how many more first dates am I going to have to go on before I convince someone I have it?
No comments:
Post a Comment