The gottahavits

There is an evil in this world, more dangerous than Beelzebub or McDonald's or Sarah Palin. It is a subtle and often unrecognized evil. Some are immune to it. Some go through life and never know the lure of this evil, like those weird people who never had to have a tooth filling. It sneaks up on us when we least expect it and grabs us by the purse strings: it's the end of the season sale.

This time of the year is dangerous for several reasons, here are my top two:

1. Those shoes I spent 500 smackaroos on now cost $300.

2. That other pair of shoes I wanted but couldn't afford are just as discounted.

And, among other things, fresh new items are coming in to tempt me while I'm balls deep in a two for one trough of back stock.

I'd like to backtrack and reiterate I am not a shopaholic, despite what magazines and bravo tv would have you believe the east coast is actually quite conservative when it comes to spending. New Englanders, especially those from the more affluent parts, are vehemently against flashy boisterous spending. It's looked down on and understood as wasteful and tacky. That said I grew up with a wardrobe from the Boscov's clearance rack and never wore expensive or nice clothing. After moving away I developed an appreciation for beautiful design like a small woodland creature discovering shiny objects. After years of restraint I felt the tug of gotta-have-it syndrome, or the gottahavits. Usually I'm good about shopping, I only buy things that really get my pulse going- the things that make me catch my breath when I see them. Like a merino sweater with a sequined German Shepard on it. Or the Alexander McQueen harness shirt. Or ever pair of slip on shoes at Neiman Marcus.

But it's not just clothes, food gets me. I try to cut down on spending but how long must I go without bison tartare from The Gage or Ralph Lauren's escargots. And the Pimms Cup at Sable. I go too long without dining out and I get an itch no freezer food from Trader Joes can scratch.

I know that it's important to have savings and to travel and have experiences rather than things, but for me the clothes are an experience, being able to wear those clothes that make the blood rush and heart beat faster, it feels like something inside me is realized. I know its partly shallow but there's something so personal about the clothes for me. To be able to dress exactly the way I want is important to me. It feels good to strut down oak street and get photographed by fashion bloggers, or even just to turn heads at the bar. It's not just empty validation either, because how I dress has to do with who I am.

And if that's evil I'm ready to succumb, someone's gotta put the Gucci kids through college.